So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
