I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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