Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
