5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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