I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
