White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
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