with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Randomize
