you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
