My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
And then the night went full on bisexual.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
