You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
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She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
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just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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