i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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