It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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