i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
