the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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