I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I am midnight drunk by noon
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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