At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
