yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
