508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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