i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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