operation harelip BJ is a go
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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