pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
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