super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Pants are for mortals
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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