I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
