I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize