Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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