I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
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