I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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