listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Sext me about skeletons
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
