Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
