I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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