well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
