After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
