Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
