If that was your dad, he is hot
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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