My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
