can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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