Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Randomize
