butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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