we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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