ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize