i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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