Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
