I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
