I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
