my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
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Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
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We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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