oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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