I'm gonna have a badass scar
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
