you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
