It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
