even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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