There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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