I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
