We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
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