stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
