So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
