he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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