so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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