last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
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I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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