Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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