god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
