So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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