So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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