my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize