Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
