dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
