spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
